Chandra aaayan

Chandra AAyan an anecdote
Posted on Aug 31, 2009 under stories


Ten,nine,eight,seven…….on
e, zero, FIRE…, Ah, my baby, there it goes, on full torque,up , just watch it folks, .Mr Menon, Head chander ayaan team beamed to himself, watching the space craft disappear into the horizon,.All the scientists of SRO their eagle heads so glued to their monitors, watching the glorious, moment writ in golden letters in the annals of the history of space navigations in the universe!!The launch was near perfect and the crowd jeering outside the office complex ;calls from all quarters pouring in, and the senior scientists flabbergasted biting their whatever left of nails, were running after pillars and posts!! sharing the ecstasy of the event. The officers were all set for celebrations, and each wanted to claim as much of the victory to themselves.
Well, the space craft had a whole family complete with a pet,( a pup ) bound to the moon with full enthusiasm .,and this was important , several Nations had hoisted their noble flags on the surface of the Moon,several men landed and collected stones and soil, but a whole family with a pet dog landing in moon and that too on a mission launched by a third world developing Nation was indeed NEWS. Mr Menon chuckled in delight at the thought.A few months before, when the project was in the air, SRO could not find suitable astronauts, who will take the challenge, then a very resourceful officer coined the idea: Sir, don’t worry, we shall put a scratch and win lottery and the winner with his family shall have a fully paid star holiday on the moon, (so long there are enough gullible (hollow) heads in the country) Ah that is nice, you are so brilliant we shall just do that, beamed the senior. The lottery fell on a poor imbecile vegetable vendor near Dadar. Poor soul, he wept and cried and laughed and danced, without knowing the consequences of the prize!! he won, “Nisha suno, hum ko lottery lag gaya, sab milake hum bahut door ja rahe he holiday mei” “sach, mei abhi tyyar ho jati hum,” Gokul, Tinku, ja , suitcase pack karo, hum door ja rahe hai, holiday me,, she shouted at the children, Matti ko le jaun, kya, mama? Tinku was very concerned of their pet (mongrel) dog. Papa se pooch.,bevakuf, she retorted,
Well, all of them were so thrilled about their holiday, and forgot their destination, which was unimportant, as it was a lottery na?
Gokul was a little boastful, when he could not control his excitement soon, he called al his friends .”Yaar, hum log bahut door ja rahe hai, wahm saab kuuch milega, TV,KIVI,swimming pool, bature, aur vada paav, bahuth, hum khelenge, our kya kya, poocho mat…” His friends were too ignorant of the nice things in life, and only seen on movies, and they all turned green at the thought of the luxuries Gokul is going to enjoy. Tinku too was not sitting idle, she also explained “Hum to americajaa rahe hei, jaham Rubina gayi dhi na, slum dog corepati mei “ Kya, america, to bahut paisa chahiye na? “ hai, mera papa ko lottery mila na? The girls were in beeline for the little celebrity’s autograph, imagine,!Soon the family set out to claim their booty, and in the last moment Tinku was permitted to take her pet puppy matti with her.!!
All set, over eight months of rigorous training, the family was taught what to do and what not to do when in the space.Nisha was apprehensive for a moment as she never imagined that the trip was to the MOON. Tinku wanted to know whether she could get enough icecreamand chocolates over there., “paagal, waham saaab milega, Hamara dadaji, par dadaji saab waham rahte hai na, “Gokul fluttered.
Finally the whole family was ready for the greatest event on earth, family to the moon on holiday…
The scientists were so happy, and reckoned should everything go right on schedule, they will be so famous that world never saw before, Ha,,They were checking the machinery in detail before the launch, “Hey what about the stage one fuel set ups, last
time it was late to light and the rocket nosedived , you remember? “ “ Sir it is well taken care of, I have put two match stick heads this time, so it will never fail this time”
“Good, then it is ok”
MunniLal, Nisha, Gokul,Tinku and Matti, all donned in their respective space suits,
Ready for the take off. Unfortunately Mattis tail was sticking out of the suit, “Hey look there, the dog’s tail is jutting out? Do something? “Don’t worry sir, it will serve as an antenna and we will receive signals better “ “ what a wonderful idea (sirji) , you shall be promoted” the Senior commented.

In another ten minutes, the family was pushed into the craft, and the officers had a tough time to put matti in as every time it wriggled out and ran away.finally the scientists put a bone inside the cabin, and matti dived inside in a second.Except that Nisha cried when she was not permitted to carry her mixie, pan and other utensils inside the craft, but Munni lal consoled her saying that there could be enough teashops run by malayalis on the moon.


Initially the space craft was manoeuvring excellent and the Earth station was receiving the signals right beamed through the tail of Matti, but the disaster struck when matti jumped and accidentally bit the cables of the communication device .The Monitor went blank, and there was utter chaos and cacophony at the Earth station.
The senior scientist in his cabin was in a relaxed mood, having a cutting chai, and reminisced the past events ,suddenly something lying on his table caught his interest, he withdrew his glance for a moment then suddenly looked at it again, oh GOD, it is the instrument which controls the direction of the craft, ‘ hey kumar, what is this , did you not fix this in the craft, he shouted at his assistant. Kumar looked at it, oh, sir, then what did I put there.,er.. my mobile was missing, oh, I think I must have fitted that in its place” Oh god, where are they bound to?

Meanwhile Munnilal rose to the situation, he was taught what to do in an emergency, He was shown the tomatar coloured button, to be pressed in such situation, but as the cabin lights too went dim, munnilal pressed hara mirch coloured button instead. The craft after quite a lot of hissing spurting, jutting and drifting shoot out in full speed, and the children who were pulling at each other and matti who was busy digging somewhere to bury his bone, all fell head on the display device, and there was a sudden short circuit.

“Everything is well sir, I received the call from munnilal, don’t worry, Kumar informed Menon, who was hiding behind an almirah to save himself from the ire of the authorities,
“We had landed on the moon,all safe, Message was loud and clear, and the scientists had a wonderful time to rejoice. There were messages from all over the world. Obama personally called the PM and conveyed his happiness on the historical event.

Matti was busy chasing an alien animal shaped like a lizard, on the creamy white soil of the moon. The space craft was perched on a rocky substrate, and the earth station was receiving clear pictures from the moon..,Luckily Kumars mobile phone was
doing an excellent job, and munnilal wondered how the signals were so clear and loud on the moon.(It is an idea mobile which can change your life sirji!)

Munnilal was busy collecting samples of whatever he could place his hands on,after hoisting the national flag while the children were busy running after matti, and matti infact was chasing the salamander. “there is life on moon, look we have found a salamander, “ the scientists were also watching the scene, and mattis “ tail “was doing a wonderful job.
Soon a caravan was in sight, bachao,, munni cried out gokul,tinku nisha, run and hide inside the craft, aliens are coming….
The whole family was once again inside the cabin, and munni peeped out through the window.Matti unfortunately could not climb up, and he was running helter skelter and trying to hide from the group of aliens now so close to them,.The scientists too were witnessing the scene on their monitors, a very familiar sight, but.. are they aliens? They appeared to be very very earthly, with turbans, ????
“check the position with the Gps, menon directed kumar.(Kumars mobile was a 3g phone, with Gps)
Sir it is 27.38N and 71.47 E, replied kumar,,Oh no, it is the Thar desert idiots….
Howled Menon.

Ajay menon